​I got a tale of a quote unquote "man" who cried online and 
no matter what he tried he couldnt get verified but
Day after day he's slaving away making mundane shit he's ashamed of 
its right there in his name cuz!

At least it's truth in advertising right?
But for the life of me I can't say why you'd wanna subscribe
Just another member of the (((tribe))): the YouTube Commentariat
With none of the charm or personality to thrive or carry it

Scary how a jack of no trades and master of suckin'
Can get a fucking play button for doing nothin'
But runnin' his gluttonous mouth and rehashing the news for views
Without insight or humour, a useless consumer of
bandwidth

A hand-width of empty space between his ears
Fake tears and sweat beads and collects under his necks while he reads a form letter
Show some fucking decorum you bed wetter
Listen to your betters and get a clue

Wiggity, wiggity (n*gger)
Jesus Matt, you're a killer
You better keep it down or they'll hear and come after your career
...is what I'd say if there were any career to take
But it's deader than Heath Ledger circa 2008

And I'd say you were edgy if you had any edges
But you're so fat you can't remember when you last saw your pecker
So try and cool it with the pedophilic apologism
It really isn't the image you wanna be giving your kids, is it?

MUNDANE MATT (Mundane Matt)
HES A FALSE FLAGGING RAT (False flagging rat)
AND HES GOT NO SACK (He's got no sack)
JIM MADE SURE OF THAT

CUMSTAIN MATT (Cumstain Matt)
HE'S A FALSE FLAGGING SNITCH (False flagging snitch)
AND HES GOT NO DICK (He's got no dick)
NAH, HE'S A SOY FILLED BITCH (Hey, Matt)

Lavon and Ajax, Sandy and Tonkin
Tell me Matt, what do these names have in common?
Relax before you false flag this rap
I don't mean you ill-will, I just think you're a hack, yep

A hack and a whore, a joke and a bore
A rat and waste of cum
That shouldn't be born, mistake and a snake
And a sackless cunt
Dad bodied, ad-blocking warrior, sorry sort, formless blob and gormless, mouth-breathing, neutral hot taker shilling patreon!

Riding the fence 'til your pussy aches
Backstabbing people while you cry in pain
Trying to be neutral, keeping lies in your pocket
The only thing you have in common with the Swiss is your love of chocolate

But you lost it
Any goodwill you had is long gone and it's never coming back
You cracked, your rep's carcinoma, 
time to reset your life 'cause your career is over

Hang your head in shame and with any luck
You can walk away but your name is mud
You can apologize but it's never enough
You talked tough big guy but we called your bluff

And now you're crying tears
Wait stop, hold up. Grab my violin.
Sucks to be you cunt!
But I say all that so I can say just this
You're not irredeemable, you're just a piece of shit, Matt.


MUNDANE MATT (Mundane Matt)
HE'S A FALSE FLAGGING RAT (And he's fat, and he's...)
AND HES GOT NO SACK (And that's a fact 'cause)
JIM MADE SURE OF THAT (Ha! That's right, sing it)

CUMSTAIN MATT (Cumstain Matt)
HE'S A FALSE FLAGGING SNITCH (Tell me why, baby)
AND HES GOT NO DICK (Hit me with it now)
NAH, HE'S A SOY FILLED (Shit, sing it)

MUNDANE MATT (Mundane)
HE'S A FALSE FLAGGING RAT (Nice man tits)
AND HES GOT NO SACK (Give em a squeeze, give em a...)
RALPH MADE SURE OF THAT

CUMSTAIN MATT (Cumstain)
HE'S A FALSE FLAGGING SNITCH (Cumstain, now)
AND HES GOT NO DICK (He's got no dick)
NAH, HE'S A SOY FILLED BITCH (No Dick)